Self Identity

You've been worried all your life, that you don't get accepted.
You observe the kinds of people around you, and you take a little of them everyday.
You start to change, you start doing many things.
You leave on this expedition, and take years to come back.
When you do come back, you realise that you've forgotten the person you once were.

After thoughts

What happens if I leave this world?
I don't feel fulfilled.

What would I leave behind?
I haven't taken many risks.

Who would remember me?
I'm a quiet guy, what's there to say?

FUCK KNNBCCB

NTU rejection letter. 'Nuff said. FUCK!

Phuket away.

On the first day I was pretty bummed about certain things here but it took some time to warm up to this great holiday getaway.

It was the 2nd day when I went on a tour to the Phi Phi Islands that made me change my mood about this altogether. I enjoyed myself alot, and somehow, was glad I went on this tour alone 'cos I could be carefree, sit at the front of the boat and not worry about sea sickness, jump into the water and free dive to see the corals; do what I want. I wonder how these guys working here live their lives everyday; an island life. If I had the money I would definitely want to retire with the island life. The waters and skies here are really blue! (Though, the waters weren't as clear as Redang's. Maybe it's seasonal.)

Har Har. To feed my ego, the girl that was a guide assistant on the boat requested to take a photo of/with me. LOL. Somehow, people here keep asking me where I'm from. One of the receptionists said I looked nice and 'fresh' when I smile. Don't know what the 'fresh' part means. Maybe 'cos I haven't experienced the nightlife here yet. (Didn't dare to venture out and get drunk alone outside. sadface)

Well, on a short note, I'd definitely come back with this same resort + tour 'combo', but next time, I should call along a group. Enjoy the nightlife together *sniggers*.

Kids

I'm lookin at my friends abroad, the lives they're living now, and I'm wondering what am I gonna do with mine? I better start planning goals and saving money. Focus on NS and let it pass next to uni where I'll probably have to work part-time. At the moment, I'm tired of irresponsible people. On a personal note, it downright disgusts me. I never liked the feeling of vulnerability. Living like a kid when you're in your 20s is vulnerability at its worst.

I've always tested myself; What if I were trapped alone in an island? Would I be able to survive with the resources around me? Will I be able to live alone and cope with seclusion? What happens if a smoker suddenly finds himself cigarette-less one day. I believe that if I can truly do those, I'm less vulnerable. I'd be able to do anything. Luxuries and friends are bonuses. Time to change.

Enlightened.

I made a mistake.
All this time I thought I was itching to find happiness from someone out there.
I realised, I can't even find happiness from within my own home.

Inner Peace

Redang was enjoyable! The beach that is. The resort I stayed in this time blows. Even hopped over to Laguna Redang where I stayed at before. It was grand. It was memorable.

Phuket next Tuesday and I'm already burnt. Gonna consider Thara Patong Beach Resort & Spa for some spa action and premier resort environment. Expensive though.




In the end, you'll always be alone.
You'll always feel left out.
Nobody understands you the way yourself does. Not even most friends.
You know your own history, You know your own journey.
Let's massage it and call it independence.